Imagine you are walking on a virgin beach; somewhere in northern California, or New England. It’s an overcast day, you are alone, and you have been walking for hours, miles from highways, cars, or people. You see a light appear in the distance, maybe it is a plane, maybe a helicopter. But as it approaches you become more and more aware that this is not anything you have ever seen before. It has really happened, you are seeing a UFO!
You stand on the beach, flabbergasted. The flying saucer is the size of large sailboat and slate black with blue flashing lights. It lands in front of you. Down comes the ladder, and a fascinating woman, sexy in a Star Wars type way, glides to the beach, barefoot, and raises her strange hand in a warm greeting.
“I am Matilde from the Andromeda Galaxy, I come in peace to speak with you.” At least she doesn’t want to gun you down. Maybe you are thinking about a potential romance, but she kills that idea immediately. “I am here to offer you spiritual and intellectual guidance, a gift from our people to earth. You have been chosen, because our advance technologies have identified you as the perfect mean of the human race in all aspects.” That hurts. But at least they picked you. Maybe you will be Oprah next week.
“Our culture is approximately 25,000 years more advanced than human civilization. And spiritually, we are even farther ahead of you. If we give you too much information, it could destroy you, like giving a twelve year old a case of vodka. But our advanced computing systems decided that three yes/no questions from a mediocre human will give humanity a gentle push in the rear, without sending it of the rails, or “off the hook” as we like to say.”
“Please think carefully, the fate of humanity is in your hands.” First thing that comes to mind is whether your Brownies will cover on opening day, call that no good bookie Sal and really give him one where it hurts. Clear the mortgage and car payments with a trip to Vegas, and all is well. But Miss Universe looks like she is reading your mind, and you get the look that reminds you of your rich Aunt admonishing you for saying ain’t as a child.
You take a deep breath, thinking, at least for the last 15 years or so, has been exclusive to drinking beer and smoking. “Excuse me, mam, could I have a six pack of Bud Light and a pack of Marlboro Lights, just to get the brain working?”
“What is it with mediocrity and its obsessions with “light”? But she acquiesces, and you have your meditation tools.
So what to ask?
Well, lets start with the big one. Is there a God? But too vague, if she says yes, what kind of God, could mean anything. It needs to be more specific. For the good of Mankind, you might be famous, don’t make an ass out of yourself. What happens after death? Do I maintain my individual consciousness after death?
Good, one question done. Now, for the meaning of life. Is there a meaning to life? Too broad, could be like Twilight Zone when people where fattened to be eaten by Martians. The Big Bang. Did a conscious (sentient) being orchestrate the Big Bang?
What about being good? Is it worth it? Are there consequences for my actions after I die for me?
Okay, so you are ready. It took five beers and six cigarettes, but you have your questions ready. You lean back, crack open your final beer, light another cigarette.
“Excuse me, Madame Universe, I have my questions.”
“Very well, let me hear them.”
“First question.” You start broad. “Did a conscious (sentient) being orchestrate the Big Bang?”
Ohh, well, if I get another ‘no’, than time to switch the Brownies question back in
“Are there consequences for my actions after I die for me?”
“Yes” Damn, there goes the Brownies question. Okay, here is the big one. “Do I maintain my individual consciousness after death?”
“Good question Harold! No, you don’t.” She gives you a peck on the cheek and slap on the ass, and off she goes.
This posting is made for commentary. I would love to hear your three questions and answers, and maybe some arguments why, I think this could be a creative way to debate big topics, but only yes/no questions please.
The first comment I will include in the post. From Natasha, in Kamchatka, Russia.
Is human culture progressing?
Will the human species become extinct do to an epidemic?
Will the Kamchatka peninsula experience a natural catastrophe in the next 50 years of enormous proportions?
Can’t wait to hear you suggestions.
Please go to my Blog to submit comments.
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Robert Bonomo is a 42 year old novelist and internet marketer. He has lived and worked in Madrid, New York, Buenos Aires, San Francisco, Valencia, Miami, and Kamchatka among a few other not so remarkable places. He has worked as a land surveyor, car salesman, spice salesman, transportation salesman, English teacher with a few other not mentionalbe gigs in between.
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