Roswell UFOs

• UFOs, JFK, and Elvis: Conspiracies You Don’t Have to Be Crazy to Believe

  Tags: Believe, Conspiracies, CRAZY, don't, Elvis, UFOs
  Posted in DVDs and books on April 30th, 2010 by RoswellUFOs.com

  

  • ISBN13: 9780345429186
  • Condition: NEW
  • Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.

  Product Description
  “I’m not asking you to believe every conspiracy theory you’ll find in this book. . . . I didn’t write this book to give you all the answers. The Warren Commission did that, and the answers were all wrong. I wrote this book to inspire you to do what the powers that be wish you wouldn’t:  to question authority . . . and to keep an eye out for Elvis.”
  –RICHARD BELZER

  In UFOs, JFK, and Elvis, the distinguished statesman of stand-up comedy tackles some of th… More >>

  UFOs, JFK, and Elvis: Conspiracies You Don’t Have to Be Crazy to Believe

  Popularity: 7%

  5 Comments »

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5 Responses to “UFOs, JFK, and Elvis: Conspiracies You Don’t Have to Be Crazy to Believe”

1. Anonymous Says:
   April 30th, 2010 at 9:17 pm

   NOT SO GOOD FOR BOOK REPORTS overall wonder
   Rating: 5 / 5

2. David Von Pein Says:
   April 30th, 2010 at 11:55 pm

   It has always amazed me how conspiracy theorists (CTers), who are hell-bent on vindicating Lee Harvey Oswald of the two murders he so obviously committed by himself on November 22nd, 1963, can believe the Jekyll-and-Hyde act that they think was performed by the various conspirators who concocted the elaborate plot to assassinate President John Kennedy in 1963.

   That is to say — How could these very same assassins/plotters be so brilliant and perfect one minute, and yet so utterly inept and incompetent the next?

   For, if a person is to actually believe in the most widely-accepted JFK conspiracy theory, you’re going to have to swallow hard and also believe that the “plotters” who mapped out the killing (and its “Frame Lee Harvey Oswald As The Single Patsy” aftermath) had never heard of the words “common sense” before in their miserable lives!

   Examples:

   >> The “Brilliant” Plotters — Planted all of the Mannlicher-Carcano bullet evidence to implicate Oswald as the sole “Patsy”.

   >> The “Dumb & Dumber” Plotters — Decided to plant a “Mauser” rifle to be found by police on Oswald’s Floor Of Death within the Texas School Book Depository, instead of planting the correct “#C2766″ Carcano rifle of Oswald’s. (Evidently even the rifle planters had a difficult time distinguishing between a “Mauser” and a “Carcano” the day of the assassination.)

   —————

   >> The “Brilliant” Plotters — Planted all of the bullet shells at the J.D. Tippit murder scene.

   >> The “Legally Blonde” Plotters — Didn’t bother to check to see that the shells and bullets matched each other. And, per some CTers, these Einsteins decided to frame Oswald with a murder weapon that was UNABLE TO FIRE ANY SHOTS AT ALL (that’s the “bad firing pin” theory that supposedly frees Oswald from all responsibility in the Tippit slaying).

   And — Per some CT beliefs, these “Professors of Patsy-dom” also decided to have TWO killers perform the Tippit murder, instead of having just the one “Oswald imposter” pull the trigger. By using two people, I guess it was supposed to make it EASIER to frame just one man for the shooting. (Similar, of course, to the brainstorm of an idea which evidently made it simpler to frame only Oswald by having John F. Kennedy riddled with 6 to 10 bullets coming at him from a variety of different non-Oswald-implicating locales. Makes perfect sense, right?)

   ~~ eye-roll time ~~

   —————

   >> The “Brilliant” Plotters — Are able to “frame” Lee Harvey Oswald for the JFK shooting.

   >> The “Beverly Hillbillies” Plotters — Apparently couldn’t have cared less WHERE Mr. Oswald was at the time of the shooting. Various CT accounts have Oswald anywhere from the Depository’s 2nd-Floor lunch room enjoying a fruit snack, to being outside the building on the front steps during the shooting, in full view of dozens of witnesses and many cameras who are taking his picture, giving him an ironclad alibi THAT HE DECIDES NEVER TO USE!

   —————

   >> The “Brilliant” Plotters (reprise) — Are able to “frame” Lee Harvey Oswald for the JFK shooting.

   >> The “Not Ready For Prime Time” Plotters — Are able to “frame” their lone “Patsy” (Oswald) successfully (per CTer beliefs) despite the overwhelming odds against this ever happening due to the fact that these killers decided to employ multiple assassins in Dealey Plaza to shoot the President (from in front of and behind Kennedy’s vehicle), even though their ONLY “Patsy” was supposed to be in just one single location (quite obviously).

   I guess these crackerjack mental giants who were planning JFK’s murder in the days, weeks, and months prior to 11-22-63 just naturally assumed that every one of the bullets from the OTHER mysterious 3 to 7 gunshots (that the plotters cannot afford to have discovered by anybody if their “Patsy” plot is to succeed) would simply either vanish into thin air all by themselves, or would be conveniently disposed of and/or “covered up” after the fact by an additional group of co-conspirators within the United States Government.

   Sure …. Why WOULDN’T they just naturally assume such covert activity would follow the assassination? And why would they ever think that ALL TEN (or even more) of those total gunshots just might find their intended target of John Kennedy’s body?

   Evidently the plotters somehow must have known in advance that most of their riflemen that day were atrociously-crummy marksmen who couldn’t hit the broadest side of a barn on their best day, and that many of the gunshots would miss not only the target (JFK), but also completely miss every single thing in Dealey Plaza, with none of these various bullets ever to be seen again after leaving their guns’ chambers.

   ~~ another big ol’ eye-roll is desperately needed here ~~ (Thanks.)

   —————

   >> The “Brilliant” Plotters (another reprise) — Are able to “frame” Lee Harvey Oswald for the JFK shooting.

   >> The “Moe, Larry, & Curly” Plotters — These same remarkable assassination architects don’t bother to use sound-suppression devices on all (or any) of the non-Book Depository shots being fired at President Kennedy (even though they easily could have silenced all of the frontal shots and all other non-TSBD blasts by using the appropriate noise-cancelling equipment to do the job, thereby ensuring that ONLY the shots from the Depository were heard throughout Dealey Plaza that Friday afternoon in ’63).

   This must have been another of those forehead-slapping “Damn, why didn’t we think of that earlier?!” moments that the real assassins thought about only AFTER the assassination took place.

   —————

   “Silly” is too mild a term for such Abbott-and-Costello antics that are commonly interpreted as “truths” by conspiracy promoters.

   If a vast conspiracy did exist surrounding the murder of President John F. Kennedy in November of 1963, it is fairly obvious (given the evidence) that the massive plot succeeded, incredibly, despite the undeniable fact that the needlessly-reckless plotters/assassins/henchmen pre-planning the murder didn’t seem to have a single brain in their collective heads.

   And just exactly how likely is that?

   In my opinion, being “crazy” is most certainly a much-needed prerequisite for believing in virtually any of the inane JFK conspiracy plots that have been purported over the years by those with an apparent “need” for ANY type of “plot” to exist in Dallas, circa 1963.

   Same goes for Elvis. (Even though I’m quite certain I caught a glimpse of Mr. Presley within the grainy image of the famous Polaroid photograph taken by Dealey Plaza witness Mary Moorman at the moment the 35th President was being killed. Perhaps I can now write a 240-page book that brings forth a new crackpot Kennedy conspiracy theory — “Elvis Shot JFK From The Grassy Knoll!”. The CTers oughta lap that one up.)
   Rating: 1 / 5

3. David Roy Says:
   May 1st, 2010 at 1:06 am

   The first problem with UFOs, JFK, and Elvis: Conspiracies You Don’t Have to be Crazy to Believer is the cover blurbs. They all state how funny he is, except for the CNN blurb. Bill Maher says it’s “a treat to have his insanity in book form.” This is a book about conspiracies and Belzer himself says in his introduction that he’s trying to get the reader to ask questions and not accept the government’s word on everything. If he’s trying to do that, is it a good thing that he’s called “insane” in a recommendation blurb? I don’t think so.

   When I first picked this book up at the library (I’m a big fan of Belzer from his television roles), the subject matter intrigued me just enough that I wanted to see what Belzer had to say on it. I saw the three things mentioned in the title, but I thought the book would move beyond those three items and delve into other conspiracy theories as well. No luck, though. The entire first half of the book talks about the JFK assassination, and all of the theories behind it. The second half is about aliens and other space-based “cover-ups.” He only mentions Elvis in passing. I was very disappointed.

   That was actually my reaction to the entire book: disappointment. I had so many problems with this book, but they boil down to two. First, the way the book is formatted and written, I had doubts on Belzer’s credibility. This doesn’t even involve cover blurbs. The JFK section of the book seems like nothing more than a rehash of the many theories that are already out there. Granted, it’s nice to have them all in one place, but it would have been nice to get something new in there as well. Belzer talks about all of the different theories, but never really comes down on any one side. Was it the mafia? The CIA? Lyndon Johnson? The Communists? All of them combined? He probably thought that saying so many theories are possible is a good way to get people to question. It doesn’t have that effect on me, however. Instead, I felt like I had been hit with a shotgun, with all of these pellets of theory hitting me in the head and none of them actually registering as a shot.

   Starting with JFK is the easy part. Even many people who think conspiracy-minded people are nuts think that something’s fishy about the whole JFK thing. It’s like throwing a rock at the ocean: you can’t miss. Belzer spends over half the book on it, and I kept saying “yeah, fine, this is definitely a conspiracy…do you have anything interesting?”

   When Belzer finally does move on, he moves to the various UFO stories: alien abductions, sightings, close encounters, that sort of thing. He further damages his credibility, though, by bringing up the moon landing “hoax.” Ok, he says in the introduction that this may be “a little over the top” but then he goes on to say that he wouldn’t put it past the government to try and do something like that. Later, when he actually addresses it, he gives all the standard reasons for it being a hoax (no stars in pictures, moon dust, shadows, etc) which have been thoroughly debunked (check the web by putting “moon hoax” in the search engine). This does not help his credibility any. He quickly backs away from it and talks about people who believe that the beings inhabiting the moon and using it as a base kicked us off of it. Which is it Richard? The fact that he seems to believe a theory that’s been completely discredited (though some people still cling to it) just takes away from the credibility of the rest of the text.

   The second problem is Belzer’s writing style. I love Belzer’s trademark wit, and he definitely applies it in this book. The trouble was, as I ground through the text, I found his asides and witticisms increasingly grating. That could be because I wasn’t liking what I was reading, so maybe it’s tied to my first problem. Whatever the case, I found his style cringe-worthy and it’s only the fact that it’s a short book that let me get through it without throwing it against the wall.

   Tied into the style is the format of the book. Theories are tossed in and then ignored with alarming regularity. Belzer brings up the supposed connection between Kennedy and Lincoln, even going so far as to imply that the John Wilkes Booth who was killed after Lincoln was shot wasn’t the real assassin, but a patsy. What’s the scoop behind that? I couldn’t tell you, because Belzer drops it and goes back to JFK. The book is also filled with sidebars, which also makes it a bit annoying. You constantly have to leave the ongoing text to read the little side note or factoid that’s also on the page. Other times, the sidebar has more space on the page then the regular text. I think this did add to the quickness of the reading, because there isn’t as much as text to read as you would have thought.

   Overall, I couldn’t find much to like about this book. It would be a good introduction to the various theories that are out there having to do with certain conspiracies. The UFO conspiracies are actually kind of interesting, though again the credibility gap is there. Since this is Belzer’s stated goal, I guess the best question is: does it make you ask questions? My personal answer is no. To me, you would have to already be leaning that way before this book would push you over the edge. Does the government lie to us? Inevitably. But I don’t necessarily buy the specific lies that Belzer is selling. Most importantly for a book review, I also didn’t enjoy the sell-job.

   David Roy
   Rating: 2 / 5

4. William Peschel Says:
   May 1st, 2010 at 2:12 am

   The one mystery not explained by this disorganized hash of a book is why we should listen to actor Richard Belzer’s paranoid rants about the JFK assassination, the existence of UFO, and — well, there’s no Elvis in this book, despite the title, but it sure sounds great, doesn’t it?

   Half the book is an extended rant on various JFK assassination theories and the other half a rant about UFO theories. It’s disjointed, hostile, irritating and not in the least amusing, as if someone loaded Belzer up with Thorozine and turned on the tape recorder. No theory is too outlandish to consider, and no fact cannot be twisted to fit whatever scheme. With characters like the Umbrella Man, 60 Oswald doubles and a J.Edgar Hoover killed by doctored asperin, and you’ve got the script for a fanboy “X-Files” episode.

   After finishing this book — assuming that anyone will — you may find yourself concluding that sinister government agencies had recruited Belzer to write “UFOs, JFK, and Elvis.” No more effective way exists to discredit these conspiracy theories.
   Rating: 1 / 5

5. Anonymous Says:
   May 1st, 2010 at 2:33 am

   A combonation of facts and humor make this a great book
   Rating: 5 / 5

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